I just had a revelation today. Something has puzzled me for some time now. Many people tell me that I am very serious or even scary. This made little sense to me since there are so many occasions in which I have been silly, sometimes even out right ridiculous in my behavior. Even my little brother imitates the strangeness occasionally (and he’s funnier and weirder than I am). How these two things both happen to me I could not figure out. Often times I would think “How weird do I have to be for people to not think I am serious all the time?” Well, now I believe I have the answer.
For some time now, and it seems to be getting more so as I get older, I have been very closed to others in the way I feel and/or think. Although I can display silly behavior sometimes, my heart is not necessarily in it. I do not express myself through my silliness like a lot of people do. It is interesting to me, but in some ways it worries me as well. Although I can talk to people, I do not really express myself that often. This kind of closing myself probably makes people uncomfortable, even when I joke and play around. It is kind of sad.
But, this leads me to another thought on emotions and guys. Several people have done unscientific studies trying to figure out the emotional patterns, strengths, weaknesses, and so forth of boys with the premise that boys actually are more emotional about things than girls are. From what the studies witnessed (but remember that they are unscientific) it seemed that although girls express themselves more, boys actually do have stronger emotions.
One study I saw done in my sociology class was with a particular family whose father was gone (I forget if he was military or if it was something else). The girls and the mom cried (or expressed themselves in some way) about it initially, but they soon got over it. The boy in the family did not react at all to the event except that he would not talk to anyone about it. The people doing the study had to figure out a way to get the boy to talk. They soon found that the boy felt the most comfortable playing with Legos, so they gave him some Legos to play with and set him by the back door so that he did not feel exposed. Then, they talked to him about his dad leaving. What they found out was that he felt extraordinarily sad about it, far beyond any of his sisters. Soon, through this kind of chit chat, they were able to develop a way for the boy to express his feelings to his mom while playing with a basketball.
To me, this is amazing. Although I do not know of any studies done scientifically on the subject, I honestly believe their premise to be true a lot of the time. Guys are meant to be strong protectors according to God’s design for them and perhaps that is one of the reasons they do not express their feelings often, but they are also very emotionally attached to things and unfulfilled when alone (remember God creating Eve). With sin’s curse however, it seems that this has caused a lot of problems in that feelings are stuffed or never find an appropriate outlet and guys either become very closed and angry or they use the wrong things to express themselves. This plays over into the relationships between men and women, but unfortunately with the curse, men often choose the wrong way to express themselves with a woman.
For me, I do not know what I will do. Honestly, there is very little safe outlet. In many ways, it seems in the foreseeable future that any opportunity for me to marry someone I love and hold dear is closed, which means that I cannot find release of my emotions in that realm. As for people I respect and trust who I can partly share my emotions with, outside of my own immediate family, I could probably count them on one hand or maybe using a couple fingers on the other if I am lucky. Fortunately, I have Christ and he can and has released many people from the chains sin has over them and even as a guy, I can have comfort in that he knows my deepest feelings, thoughts, and so forth and that I can always express myself to him. Guys, even a woman cannot set you free or fulfill you until you know Christ as savior. It is that simple. We would forever express ourselves in the wrong manner if it were not for the example and saving grace of Jesus Christ. Praise God for his love!
If you read all of the way through the post, please do not leave until you have commented. I would be extremely interested to know what your thoughts are on this subject, especially on the studies about guys and their emotions. Thanks for stopping by and reading.
). Anyhow, I’m too happy and excited to try to think of a post right now, so Merry Christmas everyone!